A lovely chat with a friend after days (which feel like ages) might seem like the thing you need. May be accompanied by an equally lovely meal at a lovelier restaurant. So you think, maybe order in? Food, not a friend. Because it has been ages (which really are days) since the last time. Parmesan Chicken Spaghetti, you decide. You feel like you are paying a little too much to be sitting and eating alone in your room... But you still order it. Because it is still cheaper than a friend. Maybe it will atleast remind you of being in a restaurant.
Tap, Tap, CVV, don't even have to type the OTP, and done. Then you remember, there are some leftovers in the fridge. Maybe you should cancel it. You check to find out it is not refundable and also that the Zomato guy now has a cape instead of a scooter. So you keep looking...It is 41 minutes until delivery. So you watch him zip across the city with your spaghetti and cheesecake. Yes, you also ordered dessert. Everyone eats desserts at restaurants. 40 minutes pass, your friend is calling. You decline. What if the Zomato guy calls at that very moment? But he doesn't, because he sees you standing outside already. You had been waiting outside the door for the past 10 minutes. It would have been rude to keep him waiting. Meanwhile, you have rejected your friend's calls thrice.
"Zomato for *Your Name* (Because this obviously did not happen to me)?" He nods and hands you your package. There is no hungry tingling in your throat, but there is one in your brain. Why did you spend so much? Oh! But the food comes in brown paper bags, so chic, neatly labelled with the bill stapled to its mouth, so neat, and, awww! Even a thank-you note! So, you gladly thank the Zomato guy, for being an audience to your splurge. After all, this is what you paid for, the experience. Now you go back inside and think. Maybe this time it is better? You unpack it to find the same spaghetti, cold and dry. Oh but this time it is slightly sour. But you will eat it, and the food in the fridge...because the days are as long as ages.
So, this article is not brought to you by Zomato, or any other similar entity. I was really just inspired by how New Yorker writes their Daily Shouts. Really fun to read and, I am guessing, not always fun to write. Also, once again, this DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME. This is literally you. Check your purchase history! My advice, do this shit on Amazon, atleast you can cancel when you change your mind. Also please call me friends, how else will I reject your calls?
Comments